This is a personal account or a narrative written by a mother. It recounts how motherhood is exhausting, inspiring, soul-sucking and purpose-giving. It makes you question everything, while also feeling like you know it all.
In my opinion, every day that rolls around to be seen as the right time to cheer and honor “mother’s love”– It’s something quite sublime. Many thanks, Barkha for sharing. Kindly read on…
It was 4th June 2019 and I was 39 weeks pregnant!!
During the last trimester of my pregnancy, I had been reading the book “The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind” by Joseph Murphy. My husband used to tell me that I have always been in PMS mode (A powerful spell that women are put under about once every month, which gives them the strength of an ox) without being pregnant. I was always assertive and dominating or so my husband lovingly complained.
But during pregnancy, I had turned into complete Buddha!! Like I was unable to believe myself how can I become so positive. Nothing could irritate me. I was super optimistic and cheerful all the time.
A woman’s body almost always gives her the signals she needs and the inner wisdom to recognize approaching labor. Anyways so here is this day when I got the alarm and yes there I was in hospital gown all excited for my baby to come out in my arms, with not even a hint of what is going to happen tomorrow!!
On the delivery table on 5th June I don’t know how I just had an intuition that something is wrong and still, I was under control!! (It was the Buddha effect that kept me calm!!)
With the long-awaited pregnancy and then the excitement of delivery what I have got is a child with Cerebral Palsy. Everybody in my family was sad, very sad!! Which is normal right! But somehow I was not that sad!! The way I looked at all this was you can only do the things which are in your control and some things are not in your control!! I was informed by my husband the next day about our daughter’s health. He told me the chances of her survival is very low!! That day I had decided I will not go to NICU to see her as it will become difficult for me to leave her. I told him maybe our journey with her was of just 9 months and now let’s forget about it and plan to adopt a child. He had started finding about it but you see the destiny had decided something else for us. The three difficult days of her life had passed and then I decided to go and meet her!!
And here we are Our rock star is with us very much alive and very courageous. I have started believing in the fact which I read from the book more firmly now that I shouldn’t think about the future as I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I should just give 100% to my present. I have never thought on the 4th of June that my world will go upside down tomorrow!! So how would I know this can’t happen again!! I feel I am the luckiest one on Earth to have my daughter. No one in this world could have loved and taken care of her as much as I do!! One more thought which I have is more of love and care I will give to my child, the best will come more out of her. She will fight against all odds to live and grow up with me!! There was a dialogue in the movie ” kisi chiz ko itni shiddat se chaho ki poori kayanat tumhe wo hasil karwane me jut jae” I truly believe in this thought!!
Now my baby girl is one year old and trust me the roller coaster ride was just amazing 😄 many days we felt why this has happened to us and to our child, and another day we would feel we are the one selected to take care of her as only we could do this so courageously, again another day we felt we are so blessed to have such a beautiful child in our life ❤️. The way I look at it is all other kids are the same around the world like anyone and everyone can raise them up as most of the things are within them which parents don’t need to teach them other than social skills but no one in this world can raise my child as I have to teach her everything from eating, drinking to sitting, standing, speaking… everything. This can’t be done by parents with normal skills😊 this can only be done by people who are really willing to raise their child and make them learn 100s of things from what they themselves know. So we are the chosen ones to take care of these little angels which nobody else could have done it so wonderfully as we are doing. And yes I am a very proud parent of my little strong angel who knows how to live and learn against all odds ❤️.
